Is it "HI" means "GOODBYE"

9 days more to go and im still here standing still waiting for something where not sure. But me my self will know already that something that i'm waiting for is not for me and everything is clear already but still i don't want to believe it. How stupid am I. After spent 3 years together we are still far away from each other even we a just in front and still i cannot reach him. All the way i just pretend that i have no feeling any more with him but actually i'm still the same who are stupidly waiting and waiting that some days he will ask my love but it's IMPOSSIBLE and will never happen. I LOVE YOU AND WILL MISS YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE MMB............